संस्कार

संस्कार मुलांवर करताना ते त्यांच्यावर ओरडून, त्यांना मारून करता येत नाहीत. संस्कार करायचे म्हणून करता येत नसतात तर ते आपल्या बोलण्यातून, वागण्यातून सहज आले पाहिजेत तरच ते मुलांच्यात खोलवर रुजले जातात. याचे एक सुंदर उदाहरण पहा.

एक मध्यमवयीन गृहस्थ आणि त्यांच्याबरोबर एक ७-८ वर्षांचा मुलगा भर दुपारी असेच फिरत होते. वाटेत त्यांना एक मोठे शेत लागले. शेतात एक शेतकरी जमीन नांगरत होता. जवळच एका झाडाखाली त्याचे जुजबी समान होते आणि झाडाच्या फांदीवर त्याने आपला सदर अडकवला होता. सदर पाहताच या छोट्या मुलाच्या मनात काहीतरी सुरु झाले आणि त्याचे डोळे चमकू लागले.

तो म्हणाला, "बाबा, त्या सदऱ्याच्या खिशामध्ये मी आता २-२ दगड ठेवतो, जेव्हा तो शेतकरी सदरा घालेल आणि खिशात हात घालून दगड पाहील तेव्हा खूप मजा येईल."

बाबा म्हणाले, "हो, पण मी एक बदल सुचवतो बघ हा....त्या दगडांच्या ऐवजी आपण २-२ चांदीचे रुपये ठेऊ या."

मुलगा म्हणाला, छे, दगडाने जास्त गम्मत येईल, रुपयांपेक्षा."

पण बाबा म्हणाले, "पहा तर, तुला जास्त मजा येईल."

मुलगा थोड्या नाराजीनेच तयार झाला आणि त्याने टाचा उंचावून त्या फांदीला लटकवलेल्या सदऱ्याच्या दोन्ही खिशात २-२ चांदीचे रुपये ठेवले. त्याला माहीत होते....मजा तर येणारच नाही उलट रुपये मात्र जाणार. ते दोघेही एका झाडाच्यामागे लपून शेतकऱ्याकडे पाहू लागले. सुर्य डोक्यावर आला शेतकऱ्याने नांगरणी थांबवून बैल सोडले आणि एका झाडाखाली त्यांना बांधले, चारा टाकला आणि स्वतःशीच पुटपुटत बांधावर बसला. आता त्याचे बोलणे या दोघानाही ऐकू येऊ लागले.

'कालच्यान अन्नाचा कण कोनाच्या पोटात गेला नाई. घरात शिजवायला कायबी नाई . कारभारीनबी उपाशीच . लेकराला दुध नाई . कसं व्हणार. काय बी समजना.' मग हताश होऊन तो उठला मडक्यातील पाणी पिला आणि फांदीवरचा सदर काढून अंगात घातला. सवयीने खिशात हात गेला. हाताला काही लागले म्हणून पाहतो तो काय चांदीचे २ रुपये!...दुसऱ्या खिशात हात घातला तर त्यामध्येही २ रुपये!!. त्याच्या चेहऱ्यावर मघापासून जी उदासीनता होती ती नाहीशी झाली त्याचा चेहरा उजळला आणि पुन्हा बोलू लागला. 'आता या पैशानं मी धान आणील आणि कारभारनीकड देईन मग ती रांधून पोटभर जेवल आणि लेकरालाबी दुध पाजलं. लेकरू मग खूप खुश होईल. त्या दोघांना असं आनंदात बघून माझबी पोट भरल.'

मग तो नांगरलेल्या शेतात गेला वरती आकाशाकडे पहात बोलू लागला, 'देवा, कोनाच्या रुपानं तू माज्यासाठी येवडा तरास घेतलास? ज्येन ह्ये काम केलं त्येला खूप आयुक्ष दे, त्यो जगाचा धर्मावतार होऊ दे, देवा, हि सारी तुजी दया...म्या आज भरून पावलो.'

हे सारे बोलणे ऐकून तो लहान मुलगा रडू लागला. आपल्याला काय होते आहे हे त्यालाच कळत नव्हते. तो त्या बाबांना म्हणाला, "बाबा,मला काय होत आहे हे मला काहीच कळत नाही. असे वाटते आहे की, माझ्या शरीराला लक्ष लक्ष डोळे फुटले आहेत आणि त्या साऱ्या डोळ्यांनी मी रडतो आहे....पण तरीही माझ्या अंगातून सुखाच्या, समाधानाच्या आणि आनंदाच्या लहरी उचंबळत आहेत."

बाबा म्हणाले."बाळ, माणुसकीचा एक धडा तू आज शिकलास. त्या गरिबाचे शब्द तू ऐकलेस ना? त्याचा आशिर्वाद देवाघरून आला आहे, तो खरा होणार."

अशी शिकवण हवी, असा गुरु हवा किंवा असा संस्कार हवा की, तो कायमचा मनांवर बिंबला जाईल. धाकधपटशा करून ...जसे की, तू असेच वागायला हवे, तसेच वागायला हवे....असे करून संस्कार होत नसतात. आपणच आपल्या आचरणातून, वागणुकीतून सहज ते प्रकट करायला हवेत आणि मुलांना जाणवून द्यायला हवेत त्यामुळेच ते सदैव त्यांच्या मनावर बिंबवले जातील......

आपण ह्यातून कोणाला निवडाल?

मोठ्यांच्या रात्रीच्या शाळेत एके दिवशी मानसशास्त्राचे शिक्षक विध्यार्थ्यांना एक खेळ खेळण्यास सांगतात.

सर्वजन उत्सुकतेने विचारतात
"कोणता खेळ सर?"

शिक्षक एका विध्यार्थ्याला मदत करायला विनंती करतो.

 संगीता नावाची एक स्त्री पुढे येते. .



शिक्षक तिला फळ्यावर तिच्या आयुष्यातील सर्वात महत्वाच्या अश्या ३० व्यक्तींची नावें लिहायला सांगतात.

संगीता तिच्या घरातील, नातेवाईकांची,  मित्र-मैत्रिणींची आणि शेजाऱ्यांची मिळून अशी ३० नावें फळ्यावर लिहिते.

शिक्षकाने नंतर तिला त्यातील तीन अशी नावें पुसून टाकण्यास सांगितली कि जी तिच्या दृष्टीकोनातून तेवढी महत्वाची नाहीत. संगीताने आपल्या मित्रांची नावें पुसली.

आता शिक्षकाने तिला ५ आणखीन नावें पुसण्यास सांगितली आणि ह्या खेपेस तिला आपल्या शेजाऱ्यांची नावें
पुसावायास लागली.

हा सिलसिला असाच पुढे चालू राहिला जोपर्यंत फळ्यावर फक्त चार नावें पुसायची बाकी राहिली होती.

जी चार नावें संगीताच्या दृष्टीने सर्वात महत्वाची ठरली ती होती - आई,वडील,नवरा आणि मुलगा.

संपूर्ण वर्ग आता निस्तब्ध झाला होता कारण त्यांना कळून चुकले होते कि ह्यापुढचा खेळ संगीताला फार कठीण जाणार आहे.

 तिला आता सर्वात कठीण असा निर्णय घेणे भाग पडणार आहे. शिक्षकाने आता तिला तिच्यापुढील दोन नावें पुसण्यास सांगितली. मोठ्या नाईलाजाने आणि जड अंतःकरणाने तिने आपल्या आई वडिलांची नावें पुसून टाकली. "

अजून एक नांव पुसून टाक" शिक्षकाने फर्मावले.  संगीता आता पूर्णपणे हवालदिल, निराश झाली होती.

थरथरत्या हाताने तिने मुलाचे नाव पुसले आणि ओक्साबोक्शी रडायला लागली.


शिक्षकाने संगीताला तिच्या जागेवर जाऊन बसायला सांगितले. थोड्या वेळाने जेव्हा तिचे दु:ख आवरले तेव्हा तिला विचारले कि आई, वडील वा मुलगा ह्यापैकी एकाचे नाव तिने का नाही ठेवले

तिच्या जीवनातील सर्वात महत्वाची व्यक्ती म्हणून नवऱ्याऐवजी, ती आई किंवा वडिलांचे नाव ठेवू
शकली असती कारण त्यांनी तिला जन्म देऊन लहानाचे मोठे केले होते किंवा ज्याला तिने जन्म दिला अशा तिच्या मुलाचे नाव ती शेवटी ठेवू शकली असती.

मग नवराच का तिच्या जीवनातील सर्वात महत्वाची व्यक्ती तिला वाटली? 

टाचणी पडली तरी आवाज येईल अशी स्मशान शांतता वर्गात पसरली होती आणि सर्वजण आता संगीता काय उत्तर देते ह्याकडे कान टवकारून वाट बघत होते.

संगीता तिच्या जागेवरून उठून उभी राहिली आणि सावकाश म्हणाली

"एक दिवस माझे आई-वडील
मला सोडून जातील. माझा मुलगा सुद्धा मला सोडून जाईल त्याच्या शिक्षणासाठी, नोकरीसाठी,  लग्ना नंतर वा
तत्सम काही कारणांमुळे.

तेव्हा शेवटी माझ्याबरोबर राहील तो माझा नवरा ज्याच्या बरोबर मी माझे उभे आयुष्य व्यतीत केले आहे.

" सर्वानी उभे राहून टाळ्यांच्या गडगडातात तिच्या उत्तराचे स्वागत केले.

आपण आपल्या जीवनात अनेक व्यक्तींना भेटतो, ते आपल्या आयुष्यात येतात आणि जातात.

काहीजण थोड्या वेळापुरते आपल्या बरोबर असतात तर काहीजण शेवटपर्यंत आपल्या बरोबर असतात.

तेव्हा आपल्या सर्व नात्यांचा आदर राखणे हे आपले आद्य कर्तव्य आहे पण त्याच बरोबर आपल्याला आपल्या
कुठल्या नात्यांना प्राधान्य दिले पाहिजे हे सुद्धा समजले पाहिजे

Do good and Don’t ever stop

A woman baked chapatti (roti) for members of her family and an extra one for a hungry passerby. She kept the extra chapatti on the window sill, for whosoever would take it away. 


Every day, a hunchback came and took away the chapatti. Instead of expressing gratitude, he muttered the following words as he went his way: “The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!” 

 This went on, day after day. Every day, the hunchback came, picked up the chapatti and uttered the words: “The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!” The woman felt irritated. “Not a word of gratitude,” she said to herself… “Everyday this hunchback utters this jingle! What does he mean?” 

One day, exasperated, she decided to do away with him. “I shall get rid of this hunchback,” she said. And what did she do? She added poison to the chapatti she prepared for him!
As she was about to keep it on the window sill, her hands trembled. “What is this I am doing?” she said. Immediately, she threw the chapatti into the fire, prepared another one and kept it on the window sill. As usual, the hunchback came, picked up the chapatti and muttered the words: “The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!”


The hunchback proceeded on his way, blissfully unaware of the war raging in the mind of the woman. Every day, as the woman placed the chapatti on the window sill, she offered a prayer for her son who had gone to a distant place to seek his fortune. For many months, she had no news of him.. She prayed for his safe return.

That evening, there was a knock on the door. As she opened it, she was surprised to find her son standing in the doorway. He had grown thin and lean. His garments were tattered and torn. He was hungry, starved and weak. As he saw his mother, he said, “Mom, it’s a miracle I’m here. While I was but a mile away, I was so famished that I collapsed. I would have died, but just then an old hunchback passed by. I begged of him for a morsel of food, and he was kind enough to give me a whole chapatti. As he gave it to me, he said, “This is what I eat everyday: today, I shall give it to you, for your need is greater than mine!”

As the mother heard those words, her face turned pale. She leaned against the door for support. She remembered the poisoned chapatti that she had made that morning. Had she not burnt it in the fire, it would have been eaten by her own son, and he would have lost his life!

It was then that she realized the significance of the words: “The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!” Do good and Don’t ever stop doing good, even if it is not appreciated at that time.

SOME GOLDEN THOUGHTS OF THIRUKKURAL

Please read this parents!!It is for you and your child..It is very important.


Tirukkural......  by Tiruvalluvar ( a Tamil  poet/writer) was written more than 5000 yrs ago.   It’s the ancient science on Human behaviour, which has not changed inspite of modern education  & technology ! 
SOME GOLDEN THOUGHTS OF THIRUKKURAL

1. If your child lies to you often, it is because you over-react too harshly to their inappropriate behaviour.

2. If your child is not taught to confide in you about their mistakes, you’ve lost them.

3. If your child had poor self-esteem, it is because you advice them more than you encourage them.

4. If your child does not stand up for themselves, it is because from a young age you have disciplined them regularly in public.

5. If your child takes things that do not belong to them, it is because when you buy them things, you don’t let them chose what they want.

6. If your child is cowardly, it is because you help them too quickly.

7. If your child does not respect other people’s feelings, it is because instead of speaking to your child, you order and command them.
 
8. If your child is too quick to anger, it is because you give too much attention to misbehaviour and you give little attention to good behaviour.

9. If your child is excessively jealous, it is because you only congratulate them when they successfully complete something and not when they improve at something even if they don’t successfully complete it.

10. If your child intentionally disturbs you, it is because you are not physically affectionate enough.

11. If your child is openly defiant, it is because you openly threaten to do something but don’t follow through.

12. If your child is secretive, it is because they don’t trust that you won’t blow things out of proportion.

13. If your child talks back to you, it is because they watch you do it to others and think its normal behaviour.

14. If your child doesn’t listen to you but listens to others, it is because you are too quick to jump to conclusions

15. If your child rebels it is because they know you care more about what others think than what is right

 Plz forward this to all, it MAY GUIDE OUR MODERN  PARENTS

It is very very important message to all the parents living in this society..

Date With A Woman…!

After 21 years of Marriage, my Wife wanted me to take another Woman out to Dinner and a Movie.

She said I Love You but I know this other Woman loves you too and would Love to spend some Time with You.

The other Woman that my Wife wanted me to take out was my MOTHER who has been a Widow for 19 years, but the demands of my Work and my three Children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to Invite her to go out for Dinner and a Movie.

'What's wrong, are you well,' she asked?

My Mother is the type of Woman who suspects that a Late Night Call or a Surprise Invitation is a sign of Bad News.

'I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you,'
I responded. 'Just the two of us'

She thought about it for a moment, and then said,
'I would like that very much.'

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit Nervous.
When I arrived at her House, I noticed that she too seemed to be Nervous about our Date.

She waited in the Door with her Shawl on.

She had set her Hair and was wearing the Dress that she had worn to Celebrate her last Wedding Anniversary.

She smiled from a face that was as Radiant as an Angel's.

'I told my Friends that I was going to go out with My Son, and they were impressed, '
She said, as she got into the Car.

'They can't wait to hear about our meeting'.

We went to a Restaurant that, although not Elegant, was very Nice and Cozy.

My Mother took my Arm as if She were the First Lady.

After we sat down, I had to read the Menu. Large Print.
Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me.
A Nostalgic Smile was on her Lips.

'It was I who used to have to Read the Menu when you were young,' She said.

'Then it's Time that you Relax and let me Return the Favor,' I responded.

During the Dinner, we had an Agreeable Conversation, nothing Extra-ordinary, but catching up on recent Events of each others Life.

We talked so much that we missed the Movie.

As we arrived at her House later, She said, 'I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.'

I agreed.

'How was your Dinner Date?' asked My Wife when I got Home.

'Very Nice. Much more so than I could have Imagined,' I answered.

A few days later, my Mother died of a Massive Heart Attack.

It happened so suddenly that I didn't have Time to do anything for her.
Some time later, I received an Envelope with a Copy of a Restaurant Receipt
From the same place Mother and I had dined.

An Attached Note Said:

'I paid this Bill in Advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; But nevertheless, I paid for Two Plates  One for You and the Other for Your Wife. You will never know what that night meant to Me. 

I Love You, My Son.'

At that moment, I understood the Importance of saying in Time:
'I LOVE YOU!' and to give our Loved Ones the Time that they Deserve.

Nothing in Life is more important than God, your Family and friends.

Give them the Time they Deserve, because these Things cannot be
Put Off till 'Some Other Time.'

Value the worth of your relationships

There are many misconceptions that many of us live by. One of them is that we are all very rational people. Another is that we can live independently of each other. The latter idea is especially gaining ground in these days of consumerist gizmos and inventions such as the iPhone and the Internet which have effectively estranged us from the physical presence of our friends, family and indeed, society.

I have touched upon our growing social estrangement some time ago, but today I wish to comment on such alienation and the findings of top flight behavioural study experts that relationships are the most important things in our lives. And that includes money too. Some have even quantified the value of happy relationships; according to one study, a happy husband-wife relationship is worth US $100,000, which works out to Rs 45 lakh!

And what are we doing about it? Are we aware of the state of our relationships with our spouses, our siblings, our sons and daughters? Do we value the worth of our relationships? I do not think so. We, by and large, and it is natural as we are human, do not really worry overtly about nurturing relationships, until they go awry. And then, most often, we blame the other party for having transgressed limits and straining that bond. We do not sustain what we have, yet, if you talk to anyone around, you will realise that strained relationships are the most common source of worry.

Last week, I was speaking to one of India’s foremost management and life-skills counsellors who is perhaps the only professor to lecture at two national institutes of different disciplines. He was conducting a workshop for senior bankers on some aspect of management. And he said that within 15 minutes, all that the bankers were keen on discussing with him was a single topic: Relationships. 

Not leadership nor motivating their workforce, but on how to nurture and mend relationships.The point to note is that much as we are unaware, or perhaps do not care, it is relationships that we live for. We work, earn and struggle to give our families a better deal. Yet what is it all worth, if our families do not feel emotionally close to us?

I have seen patriarchal fathers who are stern from the outside, but who break down when they realise their children do not love them. I have seen matriarchs who hate their daughters for perhaps marrying someone of their choice. Yet the elder, in her innermost thoughts, cries when she recalls the bonds they shared during the daughter’s growing up years.

To all of us, I would like to take an example from the Reiki masters who carefully evaluate each of their relationships every day, while expressing gratitude that the relationship is still alive. The principles of Reiki are: Just for Today, Don’t get Angry, Don’t Worry, Be Grateful, Work Hard and Be Kind to Others. I think that is the kernel of The Change Within...

"Appreciation of Efforts"

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.

He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score.

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the youth answered "none".The director asked, " Was it your father who paid for your school fees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.

The director asked, " Where did your mother work?" The youth answered, "My mother worked as clothes cleaner. The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, " Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.
The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.That night, mother and son talked for a very long time. Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: " Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"
The youth answered, " I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes'The Director asked, " please tell me your feelings."

The youth said, Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not the successful me today. Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said, " This is what I am looking for to be my manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired.

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?*

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

Pencil & Eraser

Pencil: I'm sorry
Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.
Pencil: I'm sorry because you get hurt because of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.
Eraser: That's true. But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad.

 

I found this conversation between the pencil and the eraser very inspirational. Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the pencil. They're always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way, they get hurt, and become smaller / older, and eventually pass on. Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are still happy with what they do for their children, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying, or sad.

 

All my life, I've been the pencil. And it pains me to see the eraser that is my parents getting smaller and smaller each day. For I know that one day, all that I'm left with would be eraser shavings and memories of what I used to have.

 

This is to all the parents out there.

Bond of Trust

Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river."

The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand."
"What's the difference?" asked the puzzled father. "There's a big difference," replied the little girl.

"If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go."

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.
So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold urs...